The Lonely Road of Ministry: Where Have All the Disciples Gone?

The Lonely Road of Ministry: Where Have All the Disciples Gone?

It's a strange reality that in today's church, it seems you need a title to be heard. You need a position, preferably "Pastor," to be considered a legitimate voice in the Christian community. This strikes me as incredibly odd, especially when I look back at the Bible. Jesus, the ultimate example, held no official position. He was a Rabbi, yes, but in the truest sense of a teacher. His authority came from his words and actions, not a title. The disciples? Their title was "disciple." Followers of Jesus. Simple.

Where are those disciples today? Where are the teachers, the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists – not the ones employed by institutions, but the ones gifted by the Spirit, yearning to use their gifts, often overlooked by the established church?

It feels like the church has become a reflection of social media. The loudest voices, the most charismatic personalities, the biggest followings – these are the ones who command attention. And I can't help but wonder if this focus on popularity sometimes comes at the expense of truth. Are we so busy listening to what tickles our ears that we've forgotten what it means to live out the Gospel?

The Bible warns us about a time when people will seek out teachers who tell them what they want to hear. Sadly, I believe we're living in that time. The modern church often bears little resemblance to the church of the New Testament, and it's deeply unsettling.

My wife and I experienced this firsthand in the world of multi-level marketing. We quickly learned that our value was directly tied to our contribution to the bottom line. If we weren't generating revenue, we were ignored. Sadly, I've seen this same dynamic play out in churches and ministries. There's an agenda, a goal, and if you're not helping to achieve it, you become invisible. The phone calls stop, the meetings end, the relationships fade. I'm not exempt from this. I'm a product of my environment, but I'm striving to change.

The problem is, this change feels incredibly lonely. I often feel ignored, avoided, like I'm shouting into a void. Maybe the problem is me. Maybe I need to change. I'm willing to consider that. But is it too much to ask for a community of believers who genuinely want to live out their faith biblically, who are willing to pay the price? I long for that kind of fellowship, but it seems increasingly elusive.

The temptation is real. The temptation to conform, to play the game, to get a "pastor" title and fit into the mold. But something inside me resists. The Spirit within me won't allow it. I'm at an impasse. I feel called to ministry, yet the doors seem to close at every turn. I avoid ministry now because it always feels like hitting a brick wall. Did Jesus feel this way? Did the disciples? I imagine they did, in some ways.

But we must carry on. We must continue to pursue what we're called to, even when the path is unclear. But how? That's the question that keeps me up at night. How do we navigate this landscape? How do we find our tribe, our fellow travelers on this lonely road? I don't have the answers, but I know I can't give up. The search continues.